A vertically challenged psychic was arrested one day. He escaped from jail and the newspaper headline read, "SMALL MEDIUM AT-LARGE."
Investigators at a major research institute have discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium (Ad).
The new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, for an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quanti
The two inventors of the bungee rope went to Spain to test their invention. They built a 50-foot tower and, once completed, one of the guys stood on the edge of the platform and dove into the air with the rope tied to his feet. The other guy, standing up on the platform, waited until his friend returned up so that he could grab him. The first time his friend sprung up, he tried to grab him but missed and noticed that his head was swollen. The next time, he missed again and again there was a b
Two atoms were walking down the street. One atom says to the other one, "I've lost an electron!"
The 2nd atom replies, "Are you sure?"
In the far distant future in the year 4527, a number of scientists from all over the universe were having a convention on a far distant galaxy. Two beings were seated next to one another when they struck up a conversation.
"Where are you from?" the one asked.
"I'm from Alpha Century," he answered. "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Earth" was the answer.
"I know someone from earth," the Alpha Centurion said. "John Smith. Do you know him?"
Two molecules are walking down the street and one starts looking around. The other asks,
"I have lost my electron!"
"Are you sure?"
During the initial space flights, Nasa discovered that biro pens didn’t work under zero gravity conditions. To beat the problem, Nasa spent 6 years and $2 million in designing a pen for use in space. The pen would work under zero gravity conditions due to the pressurized ink inside, it would work under sub zero conditions, underwater, on glass and virtually any surface known to man. The Russians used a pencil.
What did the moon say to the sun?
So big and cant come out at night!
Why do these 2 relationships differ so much: the orbital relationship between the earth and sun and that of a tether ball and it's pole?.......
.......that of the sun and earth is a no strings attatched relationship and the other is not!
I heard this story in the late seventies. Just prior to a manned launch an insect was heard in the superstructure of the rocket. The risk analysis and decision had to be made to launch or to delay the launch and purge the insect. The risk was negligible so the rocket launch. The insect was dubbed the Gemini Cricket.
A hesitant driver, waiting for a traffic jam to clear, came to a
complete stop on the freeway ramp. The traffic thinned, but the driver
Finally a furious voice from the vehicle behind him cried, "The sign
says 'Yield', not "give up!"
I've always wondered how cool it would be to go to outer space, the Doc said I need to find my inner space first!
Do you think there is intelligent life on Mars? Ask John.
I sure do, replied Bob; you don’t see them spending billions of dollars to come here, do you?
A skeleton walks down empty Main Street. Suddenly he sees another skeleton carrying a gravestone. "Hey, what are you doing?” the other skeleton answers "Just strolling", "Why do have the gravestone, buddy?", "Because I always want to have some ID”.
How can this be? Scientists say the world began with a Big Bang 13 billion years ago. All mankind got hit on the back of the head, and now astronomers see stars Millions of Light years away.
What do you call the Oracle from The Matrix movie, without her guardian?
She's Sans Serif
Two aliens landed their spacecraft in a creek next to a rural farm. They disembarked the saucer, getting themselves soaked from the muddy water.
The first person the aliens saw was a ten year old boy fishing close by. The aliens said, "We want to see your leader but we don't know what to expect?"
The boy replied, "Well, I suspect you'll get grounded for two weeks for tracking mud in the house."