Q: What do you call Cardi B on a treadmill?
A: Cardi O.
When you combine "Red Dawn" with "Blue Velvet," do you get "Purple Rain"?
Did you see the Russell Crowe movie about the cannibal who ate his mother-in-law?
What? You don't remember that one?
It came out in 2000 and was titled Gladiator.
(glad he ate her).
How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm?
You follow the fresh prints.
* Put the past behind you, unless you're a time traveler.
* Remember that only James Bond lives twice. You only live once.
* Time makes fools of us all. However, you can't make a fool of time.
* You sometimes get what you want. You can't always get what you need.
It doesn't matter what color the cup is, just DO NOT give it to the "two girls"
Why did Blake Shelton break up with Miranda Lambert?
Because her lips didn't taste like sangria!
Did anyone hear about George Clooney's new genealogical website?
It's called, "Oh, Brother Where Art Thou."
Did anyone hear about that new reality show Justin Bieber's got out now?
It's called "Leave it to Bieber"!
What Pokémon would you catch in Rio De Janeiro?
The twin girls walk into a store. After selecting a few items they go to the cashier.
The cashier looks at them and says, "Are you two girls sisters?"
The twins both laugh and then one says, "Sisters? We aren't even religious."
There are three personality types in this world:
And Lil Uzi Vert...
What college does Kim Kardashian's daughter want to attend when she grows up?