The Wall Street Journal:
DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS
Microsoft Systems Journal:
APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE
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THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR
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Lady's Home Journal:
LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET!
TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE
A robber was found wounded in an electronics store...
He tried breaking in from the roof but unfortunately for him, he fell on a 'Sharp' TV.
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it! Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!"
Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and said, "Hey kid, this is an old paper, where’s the story about the big swindle?”
The newsboy ignored him and went on calling out, "Read all about it! Fifty-one people swindled!”