“Grandpa, do you mind if I play my new harmonica in here?” asked little Phil.
“Of course not, Phil. I love music. In fact, when your grandma and I were young, music saved my life. “What happened?” ask Phil. Well, it was during the famous Johnstown flood. The dam broke and when the water hit our house it knocked it right off the foundation. Grandma got on the dining room table and floated out safely.”
“How about you?” “Me? I accompanied her on the piano!”
" Doctor, I get this overpowering urge to sing 'Delilah'. Then I get this urge to sing 'The Green Green Grass of Home"
" Hmmm, you are suffering from Tom Jones syndrome."
" I've never heard of that doctor. Is it a rare complaint?"
"It's not unusual"
What did the famous musician say the moment he was born?
I'LL BE BACH!
Sam Frank and Frank Sam were best friends. They did everything together, and they both loved music. Sam Frank was an accomplished pianist and Frank Sam was a harpist. They spent many happy hours playing duets. They both happened to die on the same day.
Frank Sam went to heaven, but apparently Sam Frank led a life that was not as chaste, for he ended up in Hell. After a few weeks, Frank Sam began to miss his life long friend so he went to Saint Peter and asked if he could go down and visit him in Hell. Saint Peter, after much discussion agreed, but told Frank Sam he must be back before midnight. The Pearly Gates closed at the last strike of the clock, and if he wasn't back he would have to remain in Hell forever.
Frank grabbed his harp and went to visit Sam. When he got down there, he discovered that Sam Frank was doing OK in Hell. He was the manager of a disco. The two old friends had a wonderful time together. They spent the day playing duets, and that night, they danced and partied in the disco. Suddenly Frank Sam heard the clock begin to strike midnight. He ran out of the disco and flew back to heaven as fast as he could. He barely made it in before the gates closed.
Soon after he arrived, he gasped and desperately started searching for Saint Peter. When he found him, he told Saint Peter that he had to go back to Hell right away. When Saint Peter asked why, Frank Sam began to wail, "I left my harp in Sam Frank's Disco..."
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
Q: How can you determine when the portable stage is level?
A: The drummer will be drooling equally out of both corners of his mouth.
The drummer twisted a peg on the bassist's guitar then refused to tell him which one.
There's a band called 1023 Megabytes... they haven't had a gig yet.
My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it.
"Oh," said My Dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet."
"How come?" I asked.
"Well," he answered, "because with a clarinet, she can't sing."
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music.
No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds
it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827.
Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward!
Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.
By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious,
the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth
Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played
in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.
By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.
"Don't you get it?" the caretaker says incredulously, "He's decomposing!"
Why does Snoop Dogg have carpet in his bathroom?
What musical note do you hear when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor!
On a first date, the young man thought he'd impress the young lady, a piano and voice teacher, by taking her to a karaoke bar.
After going up and singing a song, and now feeling confident as ever, he thought he'd ask a music question to impress her even more. He asked her, "What key did I sing that in?"
She replied, "Most of them."
Little Hope was practicing the violin in the living room while her father was trying to read in the den.
The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Hope's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.
The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up and yelled above the noise, "Can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!"
If you paint your finger purple, and wiggle it in the air, is it ... FingerPrince?