"An aide to the prime minister of Canada called President Bush a moron. Well that's not fair. Here's a guy who never worked a day in his life, got rich off his Dad's money, lost the popular vote and ended up president. That's not a moron, that's genius!"
President Bush can't find WMD in Iraq, and can't do anything about gas prices, so he's come out for "Intelligent Design". I guess that shows that religion, not patriotism, is the last refuge of a politician.
What did the teeth say to the dentist?
So when are we going out?
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says "Yes! How did you figure that out?"
"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love. After they are done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist."
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, How did you figure that out?"
"Didn't feel a thing!"
Yes 4 out of 5 dentists recommend sugar free gum to their patients who chew gum, but we all wonder what the 5th dentist thinks, right?
He says ,"Eat all the sugar you want, it keeps me in business!"
After cleaning his patient’s teeth, the dentist accompanied the five year old boy to the reception area, only to see him struggle with the oak door.
“It’s heavy, isn’t it?” asked the dentist.
“Yes,” he said. “Is that so children can’t escape?”
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist?
Patient: It must be tough spending all day with your hands inside someone's mouth?
Dentist: I prefer to think of it as having my hands inside their wallet.
Dentists. Doesn't your mouth just hurt when you hear that word? Not only painful - but expensive.
"That'll be 5,000 dollars."
"The price of gold went up."
A boy met a girl....
Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.
Boy (smiling): Why thank you... are you single?
Girl: No, I am a dentist.
One day an extremely nervous dental patient came for a root-canal surgery. He was brought into the examining room and made comfortable in the reclining dental chair. The dentist then injected a numbing agent around the patient's tooth, and left the room for a few minutes while the medication took hold.
When the dentist returned, the patient was standing next to a tray of dental equipment, "What are you doing by the surgical instruments?" asked the surprised dentist.
Focused on his task, the patient replied, "I'm taking out the ones I don't like."
What do you call a dentist in the army?
A drill sergeant!
Patient- Dr. How much it will cost me to extract my two teeth?
Dentist- $300 US dollars
Patient- How much time it will take?
Dentist- Five minutes
Patient- Five minutes only & it's $300 US dollars! Don't you think that is too expensive?
Dentist- I can do it in 30 minutes if you want?
A boy and his mother stood in the dentist's office, looking at a display case. "If I had to have false teeth, mother, I'd take that pair there," said the small boy, pointing.
"Hush, Willie," interrupted the mother quickly, "Haven't I told you it's bad manners to pick your teeth in public?"
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging for a favor.
Dentist: Could you help me out? Could you give me a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Doctor, it wasn't at all bad this time.
Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game.
When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the 'Painless' dentist. However, a local little girl called Veronica disputed his claim.
"He's a fake!" Veronica told her friends. "He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth, I bit him, and he screamed like anyone else!"
A little boy called Ben was taken to the dentist. Examination revealed that Ben had a cavity, which needed filling. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth, amalgam or composite?"
"I would prefer chocolate, please," replied Ben.